lived in monadnock 109. had four walls of christmas lights. was online director for my school’s television channel. got monteith. cut out certain people from my life. watched too much television. realized that my anxiety was becoming a problem. withdrew from things i love. stopped going out on the weekends. spent an entire month in my room back home. watched the entire series run of grey’s anatomy so far seven times in three weeks. started spending lots of time with one person. went on too many late night adventures. got lost in massachusetts with one of my best friends. started reading for fun again. lived in three different places on campus. became executive producer of sports. moved from a spacious single to a closet. wandered around manhattan with my mom. got homesick. reaffirmed my belief that nothing good happens after 2 AM. got into my first accident. realized that no matter what i do, i’ll never completely fall out of love with one person. tried to fall in love with someone else. disappointed myself. blogged. tried to change my life a bit.
dreams. living in a major city. falling in love. ultimately winding up in manhattan.
what i want to do in life. something in either tv or film production or the online field.
who i would love to spend my life with. i’m twenty years old. i highly doubt i’ve met him yet. i want to spend my life with someone loving and caring, someone i can be my total and complete self around. someone who will treat me like his equal. someone who i can have shared interests with. someone compassionate.
the most important person to me now. since i am single, adrien, violet, nick, morgan, nick. if i weren’t single, adrien, violet, boyfriend, nick, morgan, nick.
the one thing that has gotten me through rough times. chocolate, tv on dvd, writing.
something i wish i could forget. march 2008. him.
my most cherished memory. may 2007. snuggling with my dog. january 2010.
four. your four closest friends and what you like about them.
adrien. adrien has been my best friend since my senior year and her sophomore year of high school. we’ve had one year of friendship in the same state. i talk to her more than i talk to anyone from back home, including people i’ve been friends with since i was twelve, thirteen years old. we don’t talk every single day, but our friendship doesn’t require that. we talk a couple of times a week and we have each others’ backs through everything. i can’t wait until she starts school in boston this fall so we can actually hang out from time to time.
morgan. morgan’s my roommate this summer and for the next year. she’s also my best friend on campus. we’ve had a pretty strange summer so far but we’re still best friends and no one’s died.
ben. one of my best friends since i was fourteen.
nick. the mysterious him. no matter what’s happened between us, he’s there. when i got into my accident, i was overdue for an oil change. i needed to get one before i drove the three hundred miles home. a couple of days ago, nick wanted to stay with me and morgan for a night. we said yes, but with conditions. he came with me to get my oil change because he knew i was freaked out, and we had a good couple of hours wandering around the dollar store and walmart and just driving around and talking. that’s when we’re best. just me and him and the open road.
i’m getting an ethernet cord as soon as i get back to new hampshire. i’m home for the weekend for my brother and best friend’s graduation.it’s the first time i’ve been home since march and i go back on sunday.
last weekend i got into my first car accident. i got rear-ended while stopped at a red light. since then i’ve been afraid to get behind the wheel. there was only minor damage done to monteith, but my back’s been really sore ever since. i went to the doctor today and he said it’s probably just whiplash.
ATTENTION TUMBLR. I AM SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET.
i want to find a website that streams “so noTORIous” online. i’ve looked a zillion places but can’t find one. yes, it’s the one with tori spelling. this is tumblr. we are a judgement-free zone. drop a link in my ask if you know of one.
i have a roommate again. i love her to death but i don’t necessarily need her reading some of the stuff i post about. i need to get a new, longer ethernet cord so i can go online in my closet, which is where my bed and tv are, but i haven’t gotten a chance to run to the bookstore yet. so now i’m using my desk. i’ll start updating more soon for those of you who are not unfollowing due to my relative inactiveness.
I was wondering if you'd help me win a scholarship. This company is awarding a student who generates the most hits to a post or webpage.
This is mine.
I'd really appreciate it! Thank you for your time.
he keeps texting me, like nothing happened that changed things this semester.
after a two week long silence, he’s back to texting me every day. tonight it’s about how he’s in a bad part of the next town over from his and there are drag queens and tweakers everywhere. i keep asking me why he’s doing this. he’s almost never alone when he texts me, but he still tries to keep the conversation going. i had finally moved on from everything that happened this year, since it has been a year since things have changed between us, but he keeps trying to get me back to that place, where it’s just me and him and the open road and nothing about the outside world mattered, not then. but it’s not me and him and the open road anymore. it’s hardly even me and him. there’s me, there’s him, there’s an open road, but nothing’s necessarily intertwined anymore. my roommate wants to set me up with her friend, who is gorgeous and treats women right and is essentially perfect. i want to go for it, but i can’t if he’s going to keep holding me back from moving on with my life. i need him to let me go. i already did.